I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Houston, we have a squirter
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm sobbing to NWA
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
