so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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