Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize