So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Who died my cat blue again?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
