I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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