Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
