she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You're like the curious george of whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize