Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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