Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
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it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
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George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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