Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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