so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
