It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
