the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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