For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
