hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just took my morning after pill in the library
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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