11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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