Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
