He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize