I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
