So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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