he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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