For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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