okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
