I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
