I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
