Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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