I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize