Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
