totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize