scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
