He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
