..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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