but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
