so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
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You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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