I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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