i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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