Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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