I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
