im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
