do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
