sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sext me about skeletons
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
