I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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