If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
