I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
