gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
