im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
