so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
50% drunk capacity currently
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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