So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
wrigley field is MILF paradise
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
