Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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