remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
