Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
