I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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