D3 body, D1 cock
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
