Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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