I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize