lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
