dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
