Where is the hickey?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
